Lost My Dogs in a Boating Accident
Concerning a new bill regarding the registration of dogs, cats...and goldfish?
If you haven’t seen the chatter about Colorado’s House Bill 24-1163, I’d ask that you give me just a moment of your time. The bill, recently introduced by Democratic legislator Regina English of El Paso County, would form a mandatory pet registration system. (No word yet on whether the state government would keep track of how many rounds Fido can hold in each magazine.)
Not only will your Labradoodle be required to be registered, but it will cost you $8.50 per year, unless you didn’t spay or neuter it, in which case, it’s $16 a year.
The registration would also require that you designate a specified caregiver for the pup. If you fail to do so, your fee increases to $25 annually. Better make some friends quickly!
This idea is silly for dogs and cats, but what I could not believe made it past bill drafting and stakeholdering without somebody throwing a flag was the fact that it expands the definition of a pet (for the sake of implementation) to rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, mice, rats, gerbils, ferrets, birds, fish, reptiles, and amphibians that are at least 6 months old.
Yes, if this bill passes, and you fail to register that goldfish your kiddo won at the last county fair and somehow managed to keep alive for the last 7 months, you will be committing a crime and can be fined up to $100.
I will give the bill sponsor the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she ran this bill based on the suggestion of trusted partners. Perhaps in the chaos of being a state legislator (it’s not a fun job), she didn’t realize how silly all these words sounded when strung together in this specific pattern. That doubt will extend until the first committee hearing (currently scheduled for February 22nd), where I expect the sponsor, as a rational human being, to ask for the idea to be shelved indefinitely.
If this happens to pass and somehow become law, it’ll be a tragedy, if for no other reason that I expect that thousands of Coloradans will lose their cherished friends in “boating accidents” on the day HB24-1163 goes into effect.